Paul said that we are stewards of the mysteries of heaven. That sounds very important to me. What does it mean? Stewardship is really about what we do with what we have, and understanding that all that we have and all that we are really belong to our Father. It was a stewards job to handle his lords “investment” in the way that would bring the greatest return on the investment. When you say the word “stewardship”, people usually think about money, but as Bill Johnson says, money is the kindergarten of stewardship. God wants to entrust us with the mysterious riches of heaven, but He is not willing to waste those riches on hearts that are careless and don’t see the value in what He has to offer.
God is looking for those that will actively steward their hearts and the revelation that He pours out. I believe that knowing the value of our hearts is one of the first steps to becoming a steward worthy of receiving more riches. Our heart is very valuable to the Lord. It is the place that He designed in His creation that is able to know Him. It is from our hearts that we can both give praise and adoration and receive love and blessings from Him.
Our heart is also the vault where He wants to make heavenly deposits. It makes sense that an investor would want to make sure that the location that will hold his investment is a safe, secure location. I believe that God wants to upgrade our vaults, so we can be entrusted with greater revelation, but He will only do so with those who have a real commitment to take care of their hearts.
So how can we steward our hearts? We are instructed to “Keep our heart with all diligence” in Proverbs 4:24, “For out of it are the issues of life”. What does it mean to “keep” our hearts. I see this as being an active instruction, not passive. We are to diligently keep watch and protect our hearts and the hearts of our brothers and sisters. (Hebrews) We are to build ourselves up and keep our hearts pure. It is not so much a checklist of things we must do, as it is a lifestyle of keeping our hearts ready to interact with the King of glory. It is an attitude that takes care of issues as they arise and deals with threats immediately. When we take on this kind of responsibility for our hearts, we begin to see things in a greater light. Intimacy is our purpose, but as we approach the Lord with a ready heart, we begin to receive revelation from God. What will we do with these treasures from heaven?

Revelation comes with an invitation for change. God does not reveal Himself to us to make us smarter, but to change our hearts and draw us closer to Him. Revelation invites us to change the way we see God and increase our expectation for His involvement in our lives. In fact, revelation is often the vessel in which the kindness of God comes in order to lead us to repentance. As we see life in a greater light, it brings an opportunity for change to our hearts. It changes our perspective on things.

One of my favorite TV shows as a child was “The Cosby Show”. In the show Theo was always struggling in school and his parents were always on his case about not applying himself. He was not a good student and early on in the show, there was a confrontation between Theo and Dr. Huxtable where Theo pleads with his dad to accept him and love him even though he isn’t a good student. Dr. Huxtable responds by telling Theo “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” For several seasons, Theo’s struggles at school continue, until a test reveals that he has dyslexia. Immediately there is a change in how people see the situation. Theo learns how to study in a way that works for him, his parents stop assuming that he has been lazy and the series ends with Theo becoming a teacher. The revelation of why things were the way they were (dyslexia) provided an opportunity for change. In one of the last seasons, Theo is able to recognize that one of his students is showing signs of having dyslexia and help him through the same struggles that he had endured. Without being too dramatic, Theo’s destiny was changed by the simple revelation that he had a learning disability and by the adjustments that he and his family made to deal with the revelation.

This chapter is not about revelation, but as I write, I feel like it is such a foundational piece for all that will come after it. We need to begin to hunger for God to reveal Himself to us in every aspect of life. We need to see Him more clearly and walk in an ever growing knowledge of Him, and according to Paul, there is a link between walking in revelation and knowing Him better. Revelation is walking through life with the lights on. I remember going on a family vacation one summer when I was about thirteen. My parents were excited to take my sisters and I to the mountains of North Carolina. It was where they had gone on their honeymoon, and they wanted to share the beauty of the area with us. Being thirteen, my official position was that I didn’t really want to do anything that my parents wanted to do. I was full of angst as we rode west on I-40, asking God for the strength to not have fun and remain sullen for the entire trip. Late that night when we got to the hotel, I was not impressed. My parents seemed to think that this place was special and that we would enjoy it. From what I could see of the outside of the hotel, I thought that it was kind of old-fashioned and dumpy, but it was late and dark and I just wanted to go to sleep. The next morning, my dad woke me up and ask me to go get something from the car. Opening the door to go outside, I mumbled about the unfair burden of being thirteen and the oldest child who “always had to go get something from the car”, but then I saw the most beautiful sight ever. Our room (the one at the old-fashioned, dumpy joint) overlooked the Great Smokey Mountains. I was like, ”Hey dad, you gotta come see this view. It’s amazing.” My dad was like, “Yeah, I know. That’s why we’re here.”
The moment I stepped out of the room that morning, I experienced the power of revelation. My whole perspective about the hotel was instantly changed from being “old-fashioned” and “dumpy” to being “amazing” and “beautiful”. I was “living life” in light of no light. I was passing judgement without seeing what was really happening around me. My attitude was based on an inferior understanding of the situation, and I was content to think that my dad had brought his family to some sub-par place just because it had sentimental value to him. But all of that changed when I stepped into the light and saw things as they really were.

Here is a little more of the rough copy from a book that I am working on. Please give feedback. I would like to know how what is being written is coming accross. Thank you.

Pioneering
There are probably always those who are pioneering something new, but there seems to be certain seasons where there is a greater demand for those who are willing to travel on trails that cannot be seen. It seems to me that we are in one of those seasons now. Across the Body of Christ, there is an inward call to cultivate a culture that is beyond what we have known, a culture that reflects the heart of God and the power of His Kingdom. Like salmon swimming upstream, there is an urge to go against the flow of the inferior “norm” and swim against the current in hopes of finding something fresh and pure. It seems that in many movements and denominations, hearts are awakening from slumber, and these waking hearts are not satisfied with the status quo. There has been a revelation that where we are is not where we are meant to stay.
Revelation: An invitation to go somewhere.
Revelation is a scary word for some, but it should not be. Paul prayed that the Father would give the church at Ephesus the spirit of “wisdom and revelation” to know Him better, so we know that revelation is not a bad thing. But what is it and what do we do with it? When God blesses us with new revelation, we are not coming up with new truth, but we are seeing His truth in a greater light than before. The word revelation comes from the word “reveal” which means to see what we have not seen before.

My wife and sister like watching a show on TLC called “What not to Wear”. The concept is simple. People nominate a fashion challenged friend to receive a wardrobe makeover and get tips from two fashion experts. The show usually includes a video tape of the nominee explaining why they dress the way they do, a trip into the 360 degree mirror, and the fashion experts making fun of every item in their wardrobe as the unfashionable clothes are tossed into an “ole school” metal trash can. Sound fun? Things do get better for the nominee after the fashion experts show them some suggested new outfits that they think would improve the nominees overall fashion sense. (By the way, just to be honest, I think that most of the outfits the experts pick out are equally hideous to the nominees clothes which may explain why I would probably be a nominee for “What Not to Wear: the Big Man Edition”) The nominees (which by this point are no longer nominees, they’ve been picked so they are now fashion candidates?) are given a $5000 gift card and are commissioned to go buy a new wardrobe based on Stacey and Clinton’s advice. Sometimes this part is funny, sometimes it is painful, but day one of shopping is spent with the fashion challenged person going from store to store trying to find the right items for their new look. Stacey and Clinton are back at fashion headquarters monitoring the progress on there little monitor. (Hmmm) This usually translates into a lot of gasps, “oh no’s” and at least one “I don’t know what she’s thinking.” Day two is great fun, because the fashion experts go shopping with the afore mentioned fashionless one. After more sarcasm and humiliation, somehow the poor soul manages to spend $5000 on new clothes and is rushed away for hair and make up. At the beginning of this little story, I told you that my wife and sister like watching the show, but what you may not have known is that somehow, despite my best efforts to escape the room when I hear the theme music, I always end up watching the whole episode. Why? Because at the end of the show, things almost always end up working out better than anyone expected. Stacey and Clinton are transformed from stuck up fashion snobs that make fun of people to gushing compliment givers that “just can’t believe how great you look”. The very last segment of the show is when the send the newly fashionized person(N.F.P.) back to their friends and family for “the big reveal”. As the cameras show footage of the N.F.P. getting ready for their big night, producers interview family and friends who say things like “I can’t wait to see what has been hiding under there” and “I am so nervous, I can’t wait to see the new Shelia”. Then the moment comes and the N.F.P. steps through the doors and reveals their new look. Some people clap and cheer, some stand there speechless and usually at least one person will cry. Why? They have just witnessed revelation. The “new Shelia” is not actually new, she is the same “Shelia” that her friends and family have loved for years, yet they are seeing her in a new light and so everything about her seems new. So revelation isn’t creating something new, it is seeing what was always there in a new light.

The following is one story from the chapter “Encountering Pearls” from a book that I am working on called “Journey to the Center of His Heart”. Please read through if you would like and give some feedback. If you like what you see, pass the word along about this blog and sign up to receive updates through email.

Anne (not her real name) – Meeting Anne has had a profound impact on my life. The first time I met her, she was in her second trimester of a surprise pregnancy. She was young and beautiful, but her innocence had been taken from her long ago.

Anne had grown up in a typical Western PA home. She told me that while both of her parents would drink occasionally, that life until she was 11 or 12 was pretty normal. Then her parents split up and her mother ended up dating a guy that was trouble. He was an addict and a dealer. Soon mom began to use, and life for Anne and her younger sister went down hill.

Through a set of circumstances that are too ugly to describe, this precious little girl was used, abused and ended up with a serious drug addiction. She had zero self worth. While she is “model beautiful”, she had no reason to guard her heart or her body. She began exchanging herself for drugs and what is worse, she entered into relationships where her boyfriends would exchange her for drugs.

When I met her, she was pregnant and had been trying to get clean. Because of the seriousness of her addiction and how far along she was before she realized she was pregnant, the doctors insisted that she go to clinic for methodone treatments through the end of her pregnancy. You hear people talk about how a woman glows during pregnancy, it really seemed true with Anne. Even though I had known her before, I could see that her heart seemed to be more alive than ever for this amazing girl. She would come hang out with us occasionally after one of our girls would take her to the clinic. Her heart was open to God. She listened to testimonies of how God had changed people’s lives, and you could see a hunger in her eyes.

Things seemed to be going well. Her mother was clean for the first time in a long time, and had gotten a job working with my sister. Mom and daughter moved into a new apartment, and they were excited about the fresh new start that the birth of the new baby seemed to be bringing.

Of course, the doctors had some concerns about the health of the baby because of Anne’s addiction, but everything was looking good heading into the last few weeks of pregnancy. We were all pleased when we heared that Anne had given birth to a baby girl. Both mommy and baby seemed to be doing well, and a after a few days of observation, the doctors sent them home.

I will never forget the first time that I saw Anne pushing her stroller down the main street of our town. She was beaming, and she proudly showed off her precious new little baby to us. We gushed over the baby and Anne. We spoke a short blessing over them, and parted ways.

It was only a few days later that my pastor friend called with the terrible news. He told us that the baby was dead. My heart broke. How could this have happened? Somehow the baby had stopped breathing while Anne was nursing.

Up until this point in my life, especially in ministry, I felt an obligation to have the answers for people in the midst of pain. In some ways, I do believe that we as God’s people should be able to access the wisdom of God in times like these, but through this encounter with tragedy, God was trying to teach me about His heart. While we know that Jesus messed up every funeral that He ever went to, we can see an important snapshot of Jesus at Lazerus’ grave. In this story from John 11, we see the power of Jesus and the kingdom over death. We see his desire to reveal the glory of God, but we also see a heart of compassion. We see Jesus taking time to weep, even though He knew what was about to happen. Some have said that Jesus wept because those who were closest to Him lacked the faith to understand what was about to happen. I have heard others say that Jesus was mourning because there were some who questioned why He hadn’t shown up sooner. But the testimony of those who were there was, “See how He loved him.” What an amazing picture, to be able to see the WAY that Jesus loves.

As I sat with Anne after the funeral, she completely lost it. I ended up in a room with Anne, and a tiny corpse. I watched as this young mother cried and pleaded for this child to come back. I joined in with a prayer that seemed so feeble and faint. All I could do was hurt for this mom, and offer her some comfort in the midst of the pain. Not because I had an answer that would make it all better, but because my heart had become vulnerable to her pain.

I believe that one day, we will live in a fuller expression of true Christ-centered community. I have set my heart towards living in an atmosphere that has strong expectation to see death destroyed and the dead themselves live again. It is not a pipe dream, it is a promise. The whole earth will be filled with the glory of God as the waters cover the seas. Jesus told a grieving sister that if she believed, she would see the glory of God.

Calling all sons and daughters that are ready to believe to the next measure of seeing the glory revealed! It is time to live “all in” for Jesus. Not for a season, but for a lifetime. It is not that God couldn’t have raised the child back from death, I believe that He is waiting for a generation that will contend for the promise, and pay the price will they are waiting to see the fullfilment of the promise. He is looking for those who will become vulnerable to His heart and then live vulnerable to the pain around them. In the place of pain and lack, there must be a demonstration of the Father’s heart to release all the love and power of the reality of His kingdom come.

Let’s remember then, that the fullness of the Kingdom is not found in miracles or signs and wonders. Those things point to the One who is the fullness. The greatest thing about the Kingdom of Heaven is the King Himself. He is the One worth living for, the One worth giving everything for. He is the One that this world secretly longs to see revealed. Jesus is the desire of all nations and the longing of every heart. He is the exact representation of the Father, and broken hearts are waiting to encounter the Father’s loving heart.

Anne’s story spiraled out of control after the death of her little girl. First, her mom lost control and returned to drugs for an escape from the pain. The mother began pushing Anne to get pregnant again. Maybe if there was another baby… Within weeks of the funeral, Anne was completely out of control. She had lost the reason to try.

Of all of the things that I have ever witnessed, the depths of this story are some of the saddest and hardest for me to understand. I will never forget receiving a phone call from Anne’s landlord explaining what she and her mother had been doing. The men and the drugs were a poor fix for their pain.

After the eviction, I lost touch with Anne for a while. I heard that she had ended up in rehab and that she was doing well. Eighteen months passed before I saw Anne again. She had been doing well, but now she was back to her old lifestyle. She and her new boyfriend had come back to town in an attempt to get away from a bad crowd. I really believe that they wanted to get on their feet, but they lacked the power to follow through.

It was painful to watch them continue to make bad decisions, but I was glad to have a chance to love them in the midst of all of their mistakes. Sin has a way of wearing on a person. The beautiful girl that I had met just two years earlier had aged at least ten. She lived her life looking over her shoulder. There was such fear and at the same time, she was always looking for her chance at the next high.

Our community became desperate for opportunities to really share the Good News about Jesus in practical ways. We invited them to dinner before our house church began. Their were rides to the store, trips to court, desperate prayers sent upward in the midst of whatever crisis the couple was going through at the time. For a small group of us, we realized that we might be working with a limited opportunity with these two. Both had outstanding warrants for their arrest, both were living potentially deadly lifestyles and they both were always ready to run at the first sign of trouble. We prayed for grace and for breakthrough. There were several times, that God showed up in power. There were times when the boyfriend would be sick and looking for something to take care of the urges and the pain. He would run across one of us, and sometimes we would pray, sometimes we would just be with him, and the desire would leave. He was always full of amazement that being around Jesus could make such a difference. Unfortunately for the boyfriend, he was also addicted to Anne. While he might be able to do without the next fix, he couldn’t bring himself to do without her. This was hard for both of them, because their relationship was filled with anger and threats when they were using. It did not take much to set things off, which brings me to this story.

One night, Anne and Chris were helping us at our thrift store, which we were trying to get ready for our grand opening. They had stepped outside for a cigarette when a car full of guys drove by. The guys in the car saw Anne and hollered some pretty horrible things about her and the life that she had chosen to live. Anne looked at Chris, waiting for him to defend her, to at least make some attempt to honor her. Chris was angry, because as much as he cared for Anne, he knew that most of the things that the guys had said about her were probably true. He was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. They started yelling at each other, and I went outside to try to help them and to try to calm them down before the police showed up.

Me being there had little impact on their conversation. They had gone through this before, and each time Anne felt less loved and Chris become angrier and more jealous. Chris left after a verbal exchange that did an amazing job of speaking the enemies heart over these two pearls. Anne was crushed. At first she tried to reason with someone who had just walked away, then she just melted. She began to talk about her hearts desire to have someone love her. For someone to see her without shame. She cried and I cried.

It was one of those times when I opened my mouth and knew that the Holy Spirit was speaking through me. I began to tell Anne about the Father’s heart. It was like she had never heard it before. She had, many times, but this time it was going deeper. As I told her that the Father had been loving her her whole life, it almost seemed that she stopped getting older. There was just the smallest spark of hope in her eyes. I remember giving her a big hug and singing “The Father’s Song” over her. She just stood there and let love in.

I wish I could say that she got down on her knees and repented and was born again. She didn’t. She just liked the idea that someone really loved her in spite of all of her stuff.

The next night, I found myself sitting with Chris and Anne in a Chinese restaurant that is on the main street of our town. I was enjoying the opportunity of treating them to a nice meal and just spending time with them. What happened next changed me. It has been shaping my life for a year, and as I write this now, I continued to be wrecked at the thought of what happened. Some guys walked by the window and saw us sitting there. They looked at Anne with disgust and made some rude comments and then laughed. My heart broke as I realized the hurt that came to Anne every time these comments were made. With tears beginning to well up in her eyes, she asked me a question that I was not prepared for.

“Why aren’t you ashamed to be seen with us? You never seem to care about how it might look, why are you here with us?”

The question rocked my heart. I tried to explain that we were never embarrassed of her, that we loved her and that it was an honor to be able to love her and be her friend. I told her that Jesus wasn’t ashamed of her, that He had already paid for every sin and shame that she would ever know.

By now, the tears were running onto her cheeks, and she made a request that still rings in my ears. “Could you please tell me again about the Father’s heart for me?”

I could not believe what I was hearing. Here is a young woman who has lived in addiction and promiscuity for years. She is not the seeker that most seeker services are designed to reach. Her reputation says “Stay away, I’m dirty and used up.” She has been the object of men’s lust and given herself away too many times to count, and yet her heart is seeking.

God forgive us for allowing our hearts to be hardened. When we see the woman caught in adultery, we may not have stones in our hands, but how many times do our attitudes say “You will get what you have coming to you and until then stay away. We don’t want your kind around.” Let us hear the compassionate heart of Jesus speaking directly to the cry of the woman’s heart. He does not condone the sin, but he distances Himself from condemnation and calls her to walk away from the sin that she has become a slave to.

In John 4, we see a similar situation with a different woman. Jesus is talking to the one who comes to draw her water in the middle of the day instead of the early morning like everyone else. She has had five husbands and is now living with #6 outside of marriage. His message to her was not focused on the grossness of her condition, but the superiority of what He had to offer. Something that would really satisfy the longings of her heart.

When will we realize that no matter what we see people spending their lives going after, that it is really Jesus that their heart is longing for?

I have been writing a book over the past several months. Below is the intro to the reader and preface. I would love feedback, it would be a great help.

Preface: On the Road with Grandma

When I was a boy, my grandmother used to drive me crazy. We would be in the car on a trip and my heart would be full of passionate longing. I was a simple man at the age of 6. I was not asking for much, just a happy meal from the next set of golden arches. My face would press up against the window of the car as I would watch the arches come and go. With the slightest whine in my voice, I would question the wisdom of passing up the goodness of McDonald’s. My grandmother would say in a somewhat delusional tone. “Imagine, you are in a covered wagon going west.”

I had no idea what she could be talking about. I wasn’t in a covered wagon and I was someplace in eastern Ohio. What did any of this have to do with stopping for a happy meal?

Of course, this would not be the only time that I heard the “covered wagon” line. It was a part of traveling with grandma. (We once drove 50 minutes off the highway to find a picnic table so we did not have to take the time to eat at a restaurant.) As I grew older, I began to understand her point. There were no McDonald’s for the covered wagons to stop at. There wasn’t even a 7-11. As I matured, I wondered how those poor pioneers had survived the struggles of their journey. Why would anyone intentionally go someplace that didn’t have happy meals?

I also wondered why my poor grandmother couldn’t understand that we weren’t in a covered wagon going west. We were in my grandfather’s conversion van. Why was she stuck in in the 1800’s?

Things came to a head immediately following my graduation from high school. My grandparents had come to Wilmington, NC from Pennsylvania to attend the commencement ceremony. The day after graduation, my grandparents, parents and two sisters headed out for a 3-day trip to Savannah, Georgia, in my grandparents conversion van. We had an amazing time and to my surprise, there wasn’t a single mention of covered wagons. Until the last day. We had spent the morning finishing up sight seeing and then we were to have lunch and hit the road. Now, my taste had matured quite considerably since I was six. The desire for a happy meal from McDonald’s had given way to a more manly longing for a bacon cheese burger from the Wendy’s the .99 menu. From where I was sitting, there was no reason not to stop. I had loads of cash from graduation. I would buy for everyone. Here was a Wendy’s, right on our path. As I began to sing praises to the Sovereign God of the ages, my grandmother spoke up and said, “Brad, save your money. I am sure we can find a grocery store and a road-side rest just outside of town. We can have a picnic!”

I was devastated. Here I was at the pinnacle of life. I had just graduated from high school. I was at that rare place in life where the thought that I might actually know everything, seemed realistic. I had not started the downward spiral of adulthood yet. I was standing at the peak of my delusion, about to bight into a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. I was inwardly angry at my grandmother. Why would she deprive me of this perfect moment?

I pressed my face against the van window as the friendly marquee from Wendy’s disappeared out of my sight. So long, .99 value menu. I will see you soon, as soon as my grandmother goes back to Pennsylvania.

The van traveled north upon alternate U.S. highway 17. Just outside of town, there was not a picnic table to be found. As we drove further and further away from civilization, I tried one last time to bring reason into our circumstance. “You know, it wouldn’t take that long to turn around and go back to Wendy’s.” My grandmother turned and said, “Just imagine you’re in a covered wagon going west.” I could feel my face changing colors. How could she say that to me. I wasn’t six anymore. I was an adult. With the slightest whine in my voice, I pleaded for someplace with a drive through.

Hours passed, still no grocery store, still no road-side rest. Some where near the Georgia – South Carolina border, we came into a small town. It was really nothing more that a blinking traffic signal, a set of railroad tracks and a general store. We stopped. Everyone in the van was irritated…except my grandmother. She acted as though it had only been a few minutes since we had passed God’s will back at Wendy’s. We piled out of the van and into a place that seemed like a set of an old movie. You could almost hear dueling banjo’s in the background. The aisles in the store were stocked with pickled pigs feet and pork rinds. The store did carry any name brand soda and the deli was a scary place. But this was where lunch was coming from and I was just happy that we weren’t going die of starvation on the wagon trail.

My Grandmother asked the clerk, “Is there a roadside rest nearby?” Did you know that there is a slight difference between a north Georgia and western Pennsylvania accents? That store clerk looked at my grandma with mouth open and no idea. It took several minutes and a small team of translators, but we learned of a “rest area” just a few miles away. When we arrived, my thoughts immediately went to the opening scenes of “Little House on the Prairie”, when Pa and Ma are in the “covered wagon going west” and they stop and look down the hill at all the grass that there going to be responsible for cutting. No one had cut the grass at this rest area in at least a hundred years. It was knee high, and the park ranger had evidently decided to hire a flock of mosquitoes to serve as the welcoming committee before he went on vacation in the 1940’s.

By this point, I was thinking, “Let’s just get this meal over with.”, but Grandma was happy. She seemed completely unaware that the rest of us were less than happy. All she could think of was how much more fun and adventurous it was for us to have eaten outside instead of in a stuffy, old restaurant. On the way back to the van, she said, “Now wasn’t that nice. It was just like we were . . .” I interrupted her. “I know, I know. Like we were in a covered wagon going west.”

I don’t travel very much with my grandmother anymore, but over the past year I have thought about, even meditated on her “covered wagon” philosophy. It seems that God is calling in the Spirit for pioneers who will go where there are no McDonald’s. I am learning that there are no cruise buses going on the wagon trial. No recreational vehicles, just covered wagons.

This book is about pioneers and the call to go someplace that is ancient and new all at the same time. It is about pathways that need to be cleared and highways that must be built for the generations to follow. It is about life in a covered wagon and about making it all the way to our destination. The world is waiting for those who will not settle short of our goal. We must go all the way into what God has intended for us. We must stop settling along the way, and go until we reach the city whose builder and maker is God.