Abi’s Teaching Me
So… my little girl is two years old now. I can’t believe it. In some ways, it seems like only a few weeks since my little girl reached out and wrapped her little finger around my hand just minutes after her birth. In other ways, I can’t remember what life was like before she joined our family. God truly blessed me with a wonderful wife and little girl.
Over the past two years, my little Abi has taught me so much about love and the Father’s heart for me. I have realized that every amazing thought or feeling that I have ever had towards Abi is just a token of Papa God’s heart for me. I have also realized that the joy and love that I feel when Abigail looks at me and grins also can be found in God’s heart when I gaze at Him.
These things are really cool to me, but they have been going on for quite a while and I want to talk about what has happened over the last two weeks. I hope that what I am about to say doesn’t offend or frighten anyone, but it is so sweet and I feel really good about telling you. A couple of weeks ago, Abi looked up at me and said… “I worship you”. I was blown away. I was really excited about this, not because I feel worthy of worship, but because of what my daughter’s statement said to me.
It actually said a few things. First, I feel like the prayer that my wife and I have been praying for her since we found out that she would be joining us is being answered. We prayed for a child that would have a heart of worship. I have known for a while that this is true. Every time we take her into an environment of worship, she gets into it. From the time she was only a few months old, she has loved worship music and being in God’s presence.
When she said, “I worship you”, it also made me think that she knows that worship and love for someone go together.
When I was a worship pastor in North Carolina, I taught a series on worship. While doing the study I learned that the New Testament word for worship meant to cherish or adore, like a dog for his master, or a child for its father. I also learned that the English word worship was originally “worthship”, and that it had everything to do with value and honor. So, while I do not want my daughter to worship me instead of God, I do want her to love and adore me, and find my worthy of her honor and affection.
Each night, we try to take time to read a Bible story to Abi and then worship and pray together. I believe that she is connecting our love for God with our praise and worship of Him.
So I tried to tell a few select people about Abi “worshipping me”. I was greeted with a lot of weird looks and “yikes” type expressions. I realized then, that the word “worship” has become so spiritual, that maybe we don’t really get what it means. Maybe it has become more of a formal thought process towards God, than actually giving passionate love, affection and praise to God.
This makes me sad. As a “worship leader”, I often look out at a crowd of people and wonder if they are connecting to God in their hearts. I don’t think I do this to judge them, but I just wonder sometimes if all of our music, and dancing, and flagging and art, and PowerPoint’s, and guitars, and whatever other accessories, really help us find the heart of the Father to say,”Hey, I LOVE YOU!” I am not against any of the above, but they are a sorry substitute for engaging the heart of God.
When Abi tells me she loves me, it both captures and moves my heart. She is my daughter, but at the moment that she says “I love you sooo much daddy”, I am very aware that I belong to her as much as she belongs to me. I think it is like that with God too. Part of the beauty of living in a love exchange with God, is that while He is jealous for me and let’s me know that I belong to Him, He also identifies Himself as my God. He belongs to me, because He created us that way.
That makes me want to scream like crazy. I am my beloved’s and my beloved… He is mine! Yeah!
One last thing from Abi. This happened today. We were hanging out in my chair. (another cool thing… she thinks that my chair is her chair. She squeals with delight to try to beat me to my chair. Everyone else in the house knows that it is my chair, but my daughter… she knows she belongs in my presence, and so that makes this her chair too. but back to the story) I fed her a very beautiful Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich and she looked up and said…”Daddy, I adore you!” My heart melted all over my chair and ran down into the carpet. I was like “Oh, I adore you too little one.” This was sweet, but this next part was where I learned some more. She immediately got down and went and found her mommy and said “I adore daddy”.
Adriane thought that she was cute so she cam and told me about it. I was like “Awe…” But then I thought, and don’t be mad at me for being to sappy or spiritual, but I thought… “WOW!” She adores me so much that it was natural for her to go and let someone else know.
This is important, because while people don’t necessarily want to here about our opinions about theology, they will be changed by the demonstration of our passionate love and adoration for a real and living God.
Think about Psalm 40, where the psalmist says, “You have put a new song in my mouth, even praise to my God. Many will see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.” Abi modeled this for me. I know I am not God, don’t get too worried about that. But my little girl had a natural heart to let me know how she felt about me, and then she had to run and let someone else know. This is how worship and mission should flow. We enter into the presence of the King and we worship Him. We are drawn to love Him by His love. The closer we come to Him, the more we experience His delight over us, the more we want to go tell everyone else of our love.
I have known this in my head, but God used my little two year old princess to teach my heart. Thank You Father. May I be as passionate about loving You and telling everyone about You as my Abi is about me.
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